As individuals, we all may have been in a situation where we feel that we are not being respected enough to stay in the toxic relationship/friendship any longer.
I will be talking about the struggles of actually finding the courage to walk away from toxic relationships, that affect both our health and happiness, and how we can overcome our insecurities and feel worthy enough to not depend on anyone’s opinions or words to feel validated.
We tend to rely on other people’s company and opinion’s to feel worthy or to feel like our existence makes a difference to somebody’s life, but this should not be the case. What we don’t tend to see is that our existence does matter and how we act, dress or speak doesn’t affect the people who truly care about you. You can make them laugh, make them feel confident or just be there for them but when you need them, they are not to be found, to comfort you in your times of sadness. Is it really a friendship/relationship when the love is not reciprocated? You are strong enough to not need anyone else to make you feel like you are happy and valued. Realise that the true value speaks from your own heart. How you act towards others in times of hardship and how you show that ounce of kindness, that can help even the smallest minority of people, is the true sign of your good character which many people do not have the courage to show in these dark moments. You are the one who holds the torch for the hopeless and gives them light to guide them out of the dark, holding their hand when they are not strong enough to face the world. You lead them, with a ray of light and spread the positivity that you have gained from cutting the toxic people out of your life, and accepting that not everyone will like you, and not everyone was meant for you. The happiness and contentment that you can feel on your own, finding yourself as a person again and realising that you cannot gain self-validation from others, is a feeling that you never knew before but now that you have had a taste of it, you aren’t going to go back. You give love and time to people regularly, when they do not even blink an eye lid in your times of need.
What we need to learn is that in order for us to be the best version of ourselves, we need to learn to respect ourselves before we expect respect of others. We need to love ourselves, before we demand love of others. Not everyone was made the same, and not everyone was made to share their love, and that is where you decide and make your decision. Do you carry on investing time and love into a relationship/friendship where you give your all but the other gives nothing or is it time for you to walk away? Do not continue watering a plant that has already died- it doesn’t not benefit you in any shape or form. We may not want to leave a relationships because we fear loneliness, and feel that ‘some company is better than no company’, but what is a relationship where you do not hold any significance in their life.
You look in the mirror feeling insecure or guilty thinking you do not do enough but in reality, the problem is you do too much, you give all your love and friendship, in hope of receiving the same back. Not everyone was made with the same gentle and kind heart as yours, and you have to take care of yourself sometimes, rather than putting other’s needs before yourself. It is okay to wake up and want to make yourself happy and focus on the happy aspects of your life, and have time alone where you regain your independence. Never forget that it takes great strength to try watering dead plants, but what we need to remember is that they’ll never be the same again. Putting an effort into a relationship that has outgrown you only drains you and brings you down emotionally. Do not feel ashamed or guilty for leaving, as only you have to understand your own true value. You will find happiness and learn that the what you are searching for is within yourself and not in others, and when you do, the love you have for yourself will grow and you won’t see the world in the same light again.